January

It's almost over. It's been a great start to 2014.

I finished all the Christmas presents for last year. Yay!!!!!!

I've been spending all my free time (besides on the computer :) trying to untangle a unyielding skein of yarn. It's pretty, but it's being a real pain right now. I started it last night and the end is nowhere in sight...

Narnia

We got to see our friends from Schoolhouse Rock in Narnia on Saturday.

It was a lot of fun, but the best part was seeing everyone. I missed them!

Can't wait until the fall when I can be in a show with them again!

Mission Accomplished

Stephen and Johnathan were going to the chiropractor so Mom took me to look for some aqua jeans. Success!

They're more of a seafoam:

I love them!

And they were less than 7 bucks!

Love these weird faces.

My 'brr, it's cold' face.

Photographing Adventures

I brought my camera and new yarn outside to take some pictures in the natural light.

As I was thinking to myself, Yes, I am the freak who goes out and takes pictures of their yarn in 16 degree weather, a man taking a walk says to me, "What are you taking pictures of?"

I replied, "Yarn."

"Oh," he says in a 'that's interesting/strange/weird' voice, "Have a nice day."

"You too."

You just never know what might happen...

Quest Update

We had our first piano lesson of the year (the weather was too bad last week for all of us to go) and then we stopped at Unique (thrift store) on the way home to see if they had any aqua jeans.

Alas, they did not.

I'm hoping to go to the thrift store in town tomorrow to look, and then on Friday to Target and Kohls. If all those fail, I will go to Clothes Mentor. Somehow, I will find the pants of my dreams. (Weird, I know)

On the bright side, I'm almost finished with a Christmas present. Plus, I did (almost) all of my work already, including Geometry and Physical Science.

On a Quest

On Saturday, we had our last Christmas celebration. In the grab-bag, I won a Starbucks gift card and a giant bag of peanut butter M&Ms. I traded the gift card with Mom for some cold, hard cash.

I want to buy a pair of aqua skinny jeans.

So I went to Wal-Mart. I had seen some online that I liked, but there was none of them there. I tried on a pair that was darker and little too green for my liking. But they didn't fit and the next size wasn't in that color, and since I didn't really care for the color anyway, I decided against them.

Then we drove to Maurices, which didn't have any colored pants.

So we went to Big R. They only had blue jeans as well.

But I will not give up until I have exhausted all options. I'm on a quest to find my perfect pair of turquoise pants.

Birthday on the 13th

Happy 8th Birthday Grandt!!!

Joseph

Joseph was having a conversation with a doll about the Aldi ad. I guess the doll wanted "hot dogs!"

Thursday

It's been a pretty good average day. :) I did quite well on my Geometry test. It was the first one, but since it was in the same style as my Algebra tests, I wasn't very nervous. Actually, I'm hardly ever nervous for math tests.

Besides doing all my regular work, I've been knitting swatches out of samples that I received from a yarn company. I'm hoping to finish a couple today and contact them about the patterns I wish to make in their yarn. It is beautiful, luscious, and the colors are lovely. It's a really enjoyable yarn to knit with.

You know...

...when you're having a pretty good day, and then something happens to make it awesome?

That happened today. I was going about in a usual cheerful manner. I did my Geometry, cleaned my spot in my room, made my bed, journaled, put away my laundry, and decided to change my pillowcase...

...when I realized there was a whole set of matching, clean sheets in the closet! I could change my sheets! It's a wonderful day.

In 2014

One thing I forgot to mention in my highlights list was the fact that I reached my goal of losing thirty pounds in March 2013. Which is great (!), except for the fact that I've gained ten pounds of it back. So part of my New Year's Resolutions is to lose them.

The main other resolution is to not buy any more yarn until I've put a decent dent in my stash. So as to not break my resolution I ordered four skeins of yarn on the 31st of December. Katherine was not very happy with me.

I have quite a few knitting and designing related goals for 2014:

• Finish Christmas presents (from 2013 carried over from 2012 :)
• Knit myself a sweater over the Winter Olympics
• Knit Anna a sweater (I received the yarn for it for Christmas!)
• Knit Joseph a sweater
• Publish several patterns (One in a few months, which I collaborated with a independent yarn dyer!)
• Knit myself a vest
• Knit Kristian's sweater 
• Once I use up enough yarn to satisfy my resolution, I'll buy some yarn to make Mary Ann a sweater
• Then maybe some to make me a nice comfy pullover :)

I'm sure I'll find other things to add. 

My Story

It all started when Obama won the 2012 presidential election. I don't say that to blame it on him; it is a very clear point in history on which I can pin when my depression first began. I felt down on myself, really discouraged and fearful. I had never felt that bad in my life. But after a week, I thought to myself, "God doesn't bring depression." Life went on just as happily as before.

Until December 14, 2012. You may not remember what happened that day, but many are reminded constantly: the tragedy that took place at Sandy Hook in Newton, CT. My heart broke for the kids and their families. I remember going into my room, staring at the sky, my eyes full of tears and my heart aching, crying, "God, why?"

For several weeks, I struggled. It was my favorite time of the year, Christmas, but I couldn't enjoy it. I thought of the families who had lost so much. I could only think of the sins, sorrows, and horrible things in the world. They seemed to drown out all the good in life. I had trouble sleeping and struggled to concentrate on normal life and schoolwork. Several months of ups and downs followed.

But the worst was yet to come. One horrid week in March 2013 (it could have been longer), I hardly slept at all. I barely ate anything; I didn't feel like it. Nothing sounded good, even though my stomach growled day and night. I had virtually no motivation to do anything. My one desire was to die, and go to heaven, where everything is perfect.

So far, it was the hardest thing I ever went through. But I emerged with a greater understanding of God's unwavering love for me, His child and daughter; my parents' unconditional love (I don't think I could have made it through without all the talks I had with Mom) and the support, love, and care from my friends and siblings, especially my sister Katherine, probably my bestest friend in the whole world.

I thought I'd share some verses that really helped me through (all emphases are mine):

"And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:22-31 (ESV)

"You keep him in perfect peace
    whose mind is stayed on you,
    because he trusts in you."
~Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; 
for you alone, O Lord, 
make me dwell in safety."
~Psalm 4:8 (ESV)

"Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
    and cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
    and blameless in your judgement.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
    and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
    and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
    wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
    and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
    and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    and sinners will return to you.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
    O God of my salvation,
    and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
    build up the walls of Jerusalem;
then will you delight in right sacrifices,
    in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar."
~Psalm 51 (ESV)

One more, that I did not read before, but looking back seems appropriate:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (ESV)

This song by Laura Story sums my story up perfectly.



 

Highlights of 2013

I often post a highlights list on December 31, but last year I didn't have the time. Once I had the time our internet was down. But now it's back and here's the list:

These are mostly in chronological order. Please forgive me if I leave out something terribly important. I'll add it once I remember or am reminded. :)

• We celebrated Grandt’s 7th birthday on January 13. It’s coming up again...
• Johnathan performed in his first theater production, The Miracle Worker, as Annie’s brother Jimmy. He made me cry; he did a great job! Josiah participated as well; he was, Percy, one of the Keller’s servants.
• During their show weeks, we had a little family party for Grandma White’s 70th birthday.
• February 24, several of us, along with Khyrstyn and Kylee, went to see Sharyssa perform as Flotsam in The Little Mermaid. She was hysterical and did an amazing job.
• Johnathan turned 12!
• Grandpa Kuhr reached his 70th year and we were there to help him celebrate. We also got to see Uncle Chris for the first time in a few years, which was very nice.
• Josiah, Katherine, Johnathan, Anna, and I auditioned for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Josiah was cast as one of the 11 brothers and Johnathan and Anna made the children’s choir. Looking back, Katherine and I are both glad we didn’t make it because of some things we saw when we watched it.
• Katherine turned 14!
• Dad, Mom, and Stephen played on our church softball team. It was a lot of fun to watch them play, now cheering on Mom as well!
• In May, the Baffas moved, which was incredibly sad. But I’m really happy for them, and we’ve been able to visit fairly often, though not often enough. Love you guys!
• I published another pattern.
• I went to my first homeschool conference. I got a lot of knitting done!
• Julia turned 4!
• We had a grand festival to celebrate the 200th anniversary of the beloved book, Pride and Prejudice. We watched the BBC 5-hour version over three days and celebrated with tea and biscuits in proper British fashion.
• I got my ears pierced for my 16th birthday! By now, I can wear dangly earrings. Yay!
• Great Grandma Witt turned 95 and aunts, uncles, and cousins came to her nursing home to celebrate. Uncle Jack and Aunt Sarah came down; it was nice to see them as well.
• The best friends in the world surprised me for my 16th birthday. We picked out earring findings, ate at Letty Mae’s for lunch, opened some awesome presents, made earrings together, and watched Singin’ in the Rain.
• A week after my birthday surprise, we surprised Khyrstyn for her 16th birthday. We went to Letty Mae’s (sense a theme?), performed a fun dance at the church, swam, shared fun memories of Khyrstyn, and played Star Tipping at night.
• Somewhere in the midst of all our summer activities, I submitted designs to a magazine and several yarn companies. All were rejected. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
• Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Josiah did a great job; I could pick his voice out and managed to catch his solo in the second show I saw (How did I miss it in the first?). Johnathan and Anna did a wonderful job in the Children’s Choir (all the kids were awesome!) and Anna looked soooo adorable in her costume.
• I nearly passed out trying to donate blood. But I still got a Butterburger and Frozen Custard for my efforts. :)
• Great Grandma White turned 95 with a grand weekend of celebration and we got to see some cousins we haven’t seen in five years.
• Josiah became an adult. Enough said.
• One of my submissions to a magazine was held for the next issue’s consideration. It was rejected, but first semi-acceptance!
• Kristian turned 6. My oh my!
• August 23, Sharyssa auditioned for Wizard of Oz and Josiah and I for Schoolhouse Rock. Sharyssa got the Wicked Witch!!!! Josiah was cast as a lead and I received the part of Mother Necessity, which is what I wanted.
• Johnathan, Anna, and Grandt (his first time!) auditioned for Peter Pan at the high school and they all made it. Yay!
• I enjoyed (and suffered) many weeks of rehearsals. I especially appreciated the nights we spent at Khyrstyn and Sharyssa’s houses.
• Mary Ann turned 9!
• Schoolhouse Rock Live, Jr.: Was a blast! I loved performing, and was sad to have it over. We watched the video of it the other night. I quite enjoyed watching myself, especially in Mother Necessity and it was great to be able to see the parts I missed when I was backstage. It also made me miss my friends a lot. Can’t wait to see them in Narnia coming up!
• I really enjoyed Peter Pan. When we read the book several years ago, I didn’t care for it; but I loved the show! Johnathan, Anna, and Grandt all did a really good job.
• Anna turned 11!
• I saw Sharyssa perform as the Wicked Witch. She did an awesome job; I was SO proud of her! “That’s my friend; the Wicked Witch.”
• Katherine and I joined the Fellowship Committee at Church.
• Josiah and I had our class showcase for Spotlight. I had a solo in “Goodnight My Someone”, which I was very happy about.
• Saw Le Miserables live. One word: Awesome!
• Stephen turned 20!
• He performed in JJC’s Christmas Carol. It was a lot of fun to watch him act. I enjoyed the story as well.
• Joseph turned 2! I said to Mom a week or two ago, “It’s hard to imagine how someone could be so cute, smart, and sinful, all at the same time.” But it’s true.
• An independent yarn dyer agreed to support me with one of my patterns. First designing acceptance!
• Mom, Anna, and I went to the local Housewalk and Tea for the first time in several years. Actually, it was Anna’s first time ever.
• Had a crazy, busy, wonderful Christmas.

 Whew! Longest highlights list yet. It was a busy year.